The Seer

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A woman whose husband worked a lot of overtime was constantly embarrassed by his habit of dozing off to sleep in church. She had pleaded with him not to do this, threatened him and even starched his underwear, but all to no avail.

One day, a friend commented on the strong smell of Gorgonzola cheese and this gave her an idea. The following Sunday morning while her husband was struggling with his collar and cuffs, she went to the kitchen and, with a knowing smile, slipped a small piece of this cheese into her handbag.

A short time later in church, as the intimations were being read, the woman watched from the corner of her eye the onset of her husband’s usual drowsiness.

Sure enough, she saw his eyelids gradually closed, his head nodded forward till his chin rested on his chest and soon she could tell by his heavy breathing that he was fast asleep.

“Well,” she thought, “this ought to do it.” And when she was certain that no one was looking her way, she quietly opened her handbag, took out the piece of Gorgonzola and furtively brushed it across her husband’s moustache.

The effect was instantaneous. The poor man leaped to his feet with arms threshing wildly and opening his eyes he cried, “Ethel! Get your feet off the pillow!”